After a Binge ~ A Conversation

I  can’t believe I did it again.  What was I thinking? I am 31 years old! When does it stop??!!

It’s done. Forgive yourself.

What do I do now? I’m a fraud. I’m ridiculous…pathetic. I’m so tempted…

We don’t do that anymore.  You know that.

I’m scared. I’m frightened about what this means. I thought I was beyond this.

You’re going to have moments like this. Forgive yourself. Let love in. Let me in. Listen to me.

I can barely hear you. I need to breathe. I can’t hear you when I breathe deeply. This room feels so small.

I’ll wait for you. You’re worth waiting for.

This is what darkness feels like. It’s so much more than the absence of light; it is the absence of life! I don’t know who I am anymore.

You are love.  You are beauty. You are compassion.

I can hear you. I know what you say is true, but I can’t do it right now.  I just can’t do it right now…

You’ll discover I am a model of patience.

How can I pretend to help anyone else when I can’t help myself? Who do I think I am?

You are an innocent child of God who has forgotten, for a moment, who she is. You help countless others with your honesty, your kindness and your wisdom. Remember where you were and then see how far you have come. This is a lesson in forgiveness my child, nothing more.  You are learning well.

I cannot cry about this anymore. There’s too much to do. I’m a mother, a wife, a friend.

Be a friend to yourself.

I hear you.

Ask for help.

Do I really deserve it though after what I’ve done?

Yes. Ask for help.

“Please help me remember who I am. May I forgive myself. May I begin to see myself with the eyes of Love. May my hunger be fed, my mind cleansed, my spirit renewed.”

And so it is…

I feel it. It’s starting.  This is what light feels like….a gentle swaddle of Love.  I remember  now.  It’s good to be back.

Danielle, you never left.

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4 Responses to After a Binge ~ A Conversation

  1. Everybody has bumps in the road… just keep holding on and believe, everything always gets easier.

  2. Laurie says:

    WOW! This convo is so authentic and makes me really see that going off track, no matter what your struggle is, is just simply an answer to our prayers of getting to that higher level of connection & love. Thanks so much Danielle 🙂

  3. Cindy says:

    we walk through the cloudy days to arrive at the light! but, we never walk alone.

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention After a Binge ~ A Conversation | nourish thyself. -- Topsy.com

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